I expected the constant mess. I expected the sleepless nights. I expected the post baby body. The thing about motherhood that threw me for a loop is the CONSTANT barrage of thoughts that overwhelm me every minute of every day. The thoughts that range from remembering important events to ridiculous worries and everything in between. It’s the unseen struggle that moms go through on a DAILY basis. It’s why we survive off of coffee and wine. It’s why the comfort of yoga pants often trumps the style of skinny jeans. It’s why on some days we struggle to keep it together. It’s why there are times we lock ourselves in the bathroom to cry. It’s all the STUFF of motherhood. It’s the…I need diaper pail refills. What can I cook tonight that everyone in the family will eat? Don’t forget to Google “best dark eye circle concealer”. Make an appointment to get the dog groomed. How old is too old to wet the bed? I’m so, so tired. Are you kidding me with this common core BS? I know too much screen time is bad but like, how bad? Tell kids to wash hands extra long, the stomach flu is going around. Get a pedicure, I look like a Hobbit. Am I screwing my kid up? I just need 20 minutes alone. I hope my kid isn’t the jerky kid. Clip the baby’s nails, they look like talons. I don’t even really understand what non GMO means. Oooh Whole Foods is lowering its prices! How much coffee gives someone an ulcer? Did the baby feel kind of warm this morning? I should have never taken my pre-baby boobs for granted. If breast milk is so good for you why don’t adults drink it? Am I onto something here?? I should really start doing yoga. Is that smell coming from the car seat? Can happy hour playdates a thing? If the other moms get volunteer than I can volunteer. I don’t want to volunteer. This is all so hard. I have to go to Costco. Mmmm…samples. I won’t have time to clean, I’ll just Febreeze. I’m definitely going to get dressed in real clothes for drop of tomorrow. Those crayons she was chewing on were non-toxic, right?!? Was that cough a “barking” cough or normal? Wine. What the hell is gluten anyway? I used to be cool. I hope the snotty kid isn’t hanging around my kid all day at preschool. Am I a fun mom? What if the screws from the wall mounted dresser get loose? The baby should be crawling by now. I’ll just check that she’s breathing one.more.time. How many snacks equal a meal? Am I paying enough attention to my husband? Does he even care? He better freaking care. I’m so tired. I need to start a Christmas fund. OMG Christmas. I can do this. What if I can’t do this? I AM doing this the best I can and that is enough. I am enough. I wonder if…
1. Nothing compares to the gloriousness of new clothes. Mornings are so much easier with clean-non-wrinkled-never-before-worn-clothes. It cuts the morning routine down by at least 15 minutes. Enjoy this period because before long you will be involved in a hectic, behind-the-dryer matching sock search at 6:00am.
2. You will begin the year packing lunches as if you were a mix of Julia Child and Martha Stewart on crack. Bento boxes? No problem. Organic, GMO free, well rounded meals that were planned a week in advance? Check. A thoughtful, illustrated note encouraging your kid to have a great day. Done. But, slowly throughout the year you will experience a steady decline in your lunch packing skills. Bento boxes turn into whatever is leftover from takeout boxes the night before and meals start to become as well rounded as a square.
3. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from. At some point in the year you will be caught angrily venting at someone’s lack of speed and efficiency in the school drop off line. “Don’t worry Jane, we’ll just wait at the back of the line and miss the first bell because you HAD to talk to Wanda about that new hot yoga class you are taking.”
4. You will be accosted by the PTA. Look, I get it. Raising money for the school is important. School spirit is important. Special events to promote community within the school is important. Having this shoved in my face at 7:32am? Not interested.
5. Waking up kids for school after a summer of a relaxed schedule sucks. Big time. As much as you prepare and no matter how many new school years you have under your belt, it doesn’t get easier. Whoever makes such a fuss about waking a hibernating bear clearly doesn’t have to wake up children used to a summer sleep schedule.
6. Socializing with other class parents is and always will be super awkward.
Person A: Oh here’s an idea, let’s put a group of adults who don’t know each other in a room and have them socialize.
Person B: Do they want to be there?
Person A: Nope.
Person B: Do they have anything in common?
Person A: They had kids the same year.
Person B: Will you be serving drinks?
Person A: Absolutely not.
Person B: ….uhhhh…
7. For some reason the principal is still kind of intimidating even when you are an adult.
8. Behind the dark sunglasses, overly cheerful goodbyes and Venti Starbucks cups stands another mom who is stoked to have her kids be someone else’s responsibility for 8 hours a day.
There are certain events that you just know are going to change your life forever. Starting a new job, getting married, giving birth and…potty training your toddler. There will be ups, there will be downs, but one thing is for sure: The road to the potty ain’t an easy one.
You’re Going to Think it’s Way Easier Than it Actually is
“Potty Training”, sounds kind of cute doesn’t it? Something that cute has got to be pretty simple, right? A few days of asking if your kid has, “got to go potty”. A couple of minutes sitting on the bathroom floor waiting, maybe buying a pack of pull ups for the long nights or Kandoo Wipes to teach them the importance of wiping up themselves. That might be accurate somewhere in Perfect Parent La La Land, where kids eat what is made for them and go to bed at 7:00pm sharp. But here in the real world, potty training is pretty crappy. Literally.
You’ll Spend Just As Much As You Save
One of the best parts of potty training is the idea of never having to spend money on diapers again. Loosely calculated 10 diapers a day x 1 baby minus the stress of running out to the 24 hour Walmart at 2 am = a very happy parent with tons of extra cash. What will you do with all of that extra money? Buy a new wardrobe? Go on a romantic getaway? Treat yourself to an indulgent spa day? Yeah right. You will use that money to bribe your child to poop on a miniature toilet. What starts as one M&M turns into a new set of Legos and then a shiny new tricycle, a pony, a trip to Disney World. NEVER underestimate the lengths you’ll go to bribe your child to use the potty.
Your Kid Will Think Everything Is a Toilet
Do you know what’s exactly like a toilet? Nothing. Nothing is exactly like a toilet. Well, try explaining that to a not totally potty trained 2 year old. They might get the overall gist of the whole “going in the toilet” thing. But they may not completely grasp the “toilet only” part of the equation. To a toddler, acceptable toilet substitution may include, but is not limited to: a suitcase, a measuring cup, your brand new shoes, your great grandmother’s heirloom crystal vase, mommy’s bed (specifically when the sheets have just been changed), the dog bowl, and the expensive silk plant in the corner.
You’ll Start To Annoy Yourself
It may be the fact that you’re asking your kid if they “have to go” every 3.5 minutes. Perhaps it’s your new obsession for mapping and ranking the cleanliness of every public bathroom within a 5-mile radius. It might even be the “Pooping is fun, we wipe when we’re done” rap song that you’ve become accustomed to performing multiple times a day. Whatever it is at some point during the potty training process you will stop and think “What the hell am I doing?!”. Hopefully it’s before you’ve recorded and posted your poop rap on YouTube.
You Give a Whole New Meaning To The Term “Potty Mouth”
During the potty training process it’s like your conversation is always tuned to 99.9 POOP FM. You will find it almost impossible to go more than a few hours without the words pee pee or poo poo from exiting your mouth. For the sake of all others around you please remember that no one, I repeat NO ONE else wants to hear about how close Timmy came to going “wee wee” in the “flushie hole”.
It will take the patience of a saint, the dedication of an Olympic athlete, and maybe even a couple strong cocktails. But the time is near. It may be a long and tedious process, but it is finally time to hand over the reigns to your little one and renounce your title as designated tush wiper.
364 days a year I wipe other people’s butts. 364 days a year I clean crumbs from various places throughout the house where crumbs should not live. 364 days a year I to cook for someone who believes candy is a major food group. 364 days a year I curse the creators of Disney Jr. shows for coming up with their annoyingly catchy theme songs. And I do it willingly(ish) for 364 days a year because I love my family, I love my KIDS more than I ever could have imagined. But you know what I also love? Being loved, appreciated, and pampered for all that I do. I’m not insane,I don’t expect that on a random Tuesday in March, but I DO expect it once a year. On that magical, glorious, fantastical day…Mother’s Day. On THAT day, I want it, I want it all!!
Mother’s Day Manifesto:
Every and ALL moms are to be celebrated equally.
Mother’s Day should include an option for extension. 5:00pm on Friday evening and continue until 11:59pm Sunday night. When you literally grow a person inside of your body for 9 months, you should get more than 24 hours of celebration one time a year.
Although it should go without saying, moms should be granted as much sleep as they would like on Mother’s Day. Mothers are not to be awoken by an alarm clock, a request for something or loud crashes in the other room.
Coffee (the good stuff) should be provided to mothers immediately upon waking. It is to be heated or cooled to the correct temperature. Mothers are not to drink luke-warm hot coffee or watered down iced coffee on Mother’s Day.
The following words are not be be spoken in front of mom: dishes, laundry, cleaning, dirty diaper, homework, carpool, “I need you to..”, etc. Also prohibited: Whining, crying, yelling, arguing and/or complaining.
Mom is to be hugged or kissed for no reason every 30 minutes. In addition to the physical affection, mom should be complemented every hour on the hour.
Unless specified by mom, she will not be expected to cook, clean, diffuse arguments, or be responsible for handling anything.
Under no circumstance should the mother being celebrated be expected to deal with any bodily fluids other than her own. This includes, but is not limited to: snot, pee, poop, unknown foreign matter, etc.
Tell mom she’s pretty. Just because.
If there is a choice to be made (i.e. Where to dine, what to watch, where to go, who to see, etc) mom will have the final decision, with no hesitation from her family, no questions asked and definitely no “But, I don’t like that”. Alternatively, if mom does not feel like making any decisions at all, they will be made for her, without argument.
The house will be cleaned prior to Sunday and kept clean throughout the day. Moms should at NO point during the day have to maneuver through toy obstacle courses, have to sweep up goldfish crumbs or be in danger of impaling her foot on any small plastic toys.
Moms should be allowed any sugar, alcohol, carb and cheese that her little heart desires.
Any wearable, homemade gift will be graciously accepted, but not expected to make an appearance outside of their own home.
An all day “veto power” will be given to mothers and can be put to use at any time and
anywhere during the day and shall not be met with any opposition, no matter the situation.
Pictures of the day will be taken without argument and or prompting by the guest of honor. The momentous occasion shall be documented with numerous pictures from different angles with mom actually IN the picture.
Coupon books from anyone over the age of 12 will not be considered a “gift”.
All arguments, squabble, disagreements will be kept 100 yards (at minimum) from mom.
If you need something, mom should be the last person that you go to. Ask dad, ask sibling, ask the neighbor, ask the dog if you need to, just not mom.
Every mother should have a bubble bath drawn especially for them. All children’s toys are to be removed from the bathtub beforehand. ADULT scented bubble bath (no Bubbly Bubblegum, Happy Honeydew, Super Strawberry is to be used). One, if not all, of the following will be provided: robe, slippers, scented candles, relaxing music, glass of wine.
Cartoons will not be heard in the background at any point in the day. If they must be viewed the mute button or headphones must be put into use.
Husbands/Boyfriends/Partners/Friends/Family are to suck it up for one day and make sure everything and anything is taken care of for mom and do so with a smile on their face. ONE day, just please give us at least one whole day when we get can just relax and enjoy only the good parts of being a mom.
This post was sponsored by Luvs, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
The folks at Luvs, the official diaper for experienced parents want to do their part to make your mother’s day a little more special and #sharetheluv with a $50 gift card. Comment below(or on FB) for a chance to win(winner will be selected at random). At Luvs they know that parenting can be difficult, so diapering shouldn’t be. Moms don’t have time for leaks. Luvs’ large tabs, super absorbent and ultra leak protection make sure that you’re baby is leak free and comfortable, even overnight! Because they LUV mom’s so much they are providing us with some money savings coupons, click here to print at home or keep your eye out for a high value coupon in the May 28th Sunday paper.
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Planning a wedding? Stressful. Writing a thesis for your Master’s Degree? Very stressful. Being a parent? Crazy, out of this world, off the charts stressful. From helicopter moms to free range moms, breast or bottle moms, Type A moms to Hipster moms-parenting styles may not be in sync, but they do have one thing in common. Stress. So what’s causing all of this Mom Stress?
Here’s an idea. Let’s take two complete strangers (whose only thing in common is that their kids are the same age) make them hang out and endure awkward small talk while they watch their kids play and silently countdown the seconds until it’s acceptable to figure out a reason to leave. Pair that with the fact that you have no clue if the kids are going to be singing Kumbaya or duking it out Hunger Games style. That’s just a recipe for stress. A Stressicpe! Yeah, I went there.
Feeding Your Kids
At a minimum you are responsible for your kids’ three basic needs: food, shelter and clothing. The stress begins the first few hours after you pop out your kid. Will she latch?! Is he getting enough? Then they start experimenting with pureed food that they either love, throw at you or respond with a face that looks like you just gave them a bowl of dog poop. Then bring on the solid “people” food where you spend half the mealtime cutting food into tiny pieces and the other half worrying that your kid will choke on those tiny pieces. Next, comes the wonderful phase when they can totally feed themselves but deem everything “icky.” Followed by the phase where they’ll only eat three things. And there’s that phase when they won’t STOP eating and you can’t keep up. Of course, there will probably be some phase where they decide to be a vegetarian, a pescatarian, a freaking cereal-etarian. Spoiler alert, when it comes to feeding your kids, there will always be a phase. And it will never be fun.
I blame Pinterest for this one. Back in the day, it was simple. A costume and a pumpkin for Halloween. A tree and some red and green decorations for Christmas. Candy and a couple of hidden eggs for Easter. Not overly challenging, holiday prep was no biggie. But now, God help us, it’s like each and EVERY holiday takes two weeks of planning, $452 of craft supplies and a whole lot of magic (aka countless extra tasks for moms). Super elaborate Elf on the Shelf tableaus, amazingly intricate, practically professionally constructed Valentine’s mailboxes, Leprechaun traps for St. Patrick’s day?! Seriously, where does it end?
Remember when you were pregnant and you signed up for every single weekly pregnancy update email you could find? Yeah, me too. Then you have your baby and never unsubscribe and still receive 30 weekly updates with headlines like “7 things your baby MUST be doing by 12 months.” Then you click on the link and then freak out that your child has their own development timeline and isn’t deemed “on track.” Stresssssful. Look, I get it, it is important to make sure your child is hitting certain developmental goals and getting them the proper help if they need it. But, come on, how about a little wiggle room on these mandatory “milestones.”
Bedtime is one of those things that looks so nice in the movies. Wrapping a happy, freshly bathed child in a fluffy towel, snuggling up and reading their favorite fairy tale and finally kissing them on the forehead while they gently drift to sleep with a smile on their face. Sometimes (in movies) the bedtime routine is so truly magical that parents need to tip-toe into their sleeping child’s room just to get one more look. And that’s exactly how bedtime happens…in the universe where money grows on trees, pigs fly and an all-carbs all-the-time diet exists. Here on earth, not so much. In reality, bathtime involves 18 “required” bath toys and soaking wet floors. Story time takes approximately 90 minutes, seven books and a zillion questions. And going into my kid’s room once I FINALLY get them to sleep? I would rather walk on hot coals while juggling and listening to “the song that never ends” on repeat.
Being a “Good” Mom
So here’s a fun topic. I need to take a deep breath, sip some wine and clip on my Buzzies before I even get started on this one. It used to be simple to be considered a good mom. If you loved your kids and took care of their basic needs, you were deemed a good mom. These days it’s not so simple. Soooo much is expected of modern day moms that the qualities that made you a good mom 50 years ago are considered just the bare minimum in our society. Sure you love, feed and bathe your kids, BUT…have you started teaching them French? Did you triple check and make sure that their lunch is all natural, non-GMO, organic, and perfectly well rounded? Have you become a childhood sleep expert to ensure you selected the correct bedtime? Are the toys your kid is playing with appropriate for their blood type and zodiac sign?? The standards that society and we as moms hold ourselves to is INSANE. Some nights I keep myself up with thoughts of motherhood mediocrity whirling through my brain. Enough is enough. Being a “good” mom is easy. Just love your kids with everything you have and there you have it, you’re a good mom.
What’s that word that means a spotlessly clean house that kids live in? Oh yeah, there is no word for it because it’s not something that exists. It’s not like my house is never clean. It is, for about 48 seconds until it begins the descent towards crumb, clutter and chaos again. Here’s the thing, trying to keep your house spic and span when you have little kids is like standing in the middle of a thunderstorm and trying not to get wet. Not happening. Do what you can to make sure your house doesn’t look like it should be on an episode of Hoarders, but realize that until your kids are out of the house, crumbs are inevitable, laundry will be piled up and don’t be surprised if you find tiny plastic toys hidden between your sheets.
Screwing Your Kid Up
Magazines aren’t the only thing that’s got a lot of issues. Parents got ‘em too! Try as you may to avoid it, there will be countless times that you worry that your own issues are going to screw up your kids. You can spend your life stressing that your issues and not so great decisions will have some detrimental lifelong effect on your child. Guess what? They probably will. But you know what else will have a lifelong effect on your kid? All the good things you do, all the positive traits they inherited and the amazing gems of parental wisdom that you will pass along. So just chill, it will all even out.
Stress has pretty much become synonymous with motherhood. There’s really no way around it, but there are ways to cope. Have that glass of wine, do the 90-minute yoga class, grab your Buzzies or even marathon three seasons of that Netflix show you’ve been dying to see. Just try to take a second to breathe and remember, you’re NOT the only one who sometimes wonders if you’re too old to run away. Mom stress is so real that now even neuroscience is stepping up to help moms. Buzzies, the innovative lifestyle wearable device, uses non-invasive BLAST technology to help reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep and control cravings and anger. Check it out at their website or on Facebook or Instagram.
This post has been sponsored by Buzzies but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
I feel so well rested.
Wine? No thanks.
School drop off is so quick and stress free.
I think I’ll buy all white furniture.
I have a different bra for every day of the week.
Maternity clothes are strictly for pregnancy.
Do you guys want to join me at Target?
One more bedtime story? How about FIVE more??!
My house is SO clean.
Kids’ birthday parties are awesome.
Nahh, let’s just skip naptime.
Caillou? I love that little guy.
My car is so clean.
I just don’t like yoga pants.
My laundry is all washed, folded and put away.
No, I’ll pass on coffee, I don’t think I need it.
I only feed my kid healthy well balanced meals.
My boobs are totally they same as they used to be.
I really don’t mind the sound of whining.
I have so much free time.
I kind of like changing diapers, you totally get used to the smell.
My home is 100% booger free.
I NEVER compare myself to other moms.
School projects are fun!
I just feel like I have every under control.
This is the current state of my laundry room. A complete and total disaster. It makes me sad and ashamed and frustrated. But this is the dirty, messy, embarrassing REALITY of parenting. The underbelly of motherhood that everyone tries to hide. For you it might not be laundry. Maybe it’s the fact that you fed your kids McDonald’s every night this week. Or maybe that you’ve been too exhausted to read a bedtime story in a month. You forgot to sign the homework sheet…again. You sent your kid to school in a winter coat from 3 years ago. You lost your temper and yelled at your kids. Your toddler has words in his vocabulary that would need to be bleeped out on network tv. You’re wearing the same pair of black leggings for the 3rd day in a row. It doesn’t matter what it is. We all have our “dirty little parenting secrets” that we don’t feel comfortable exposing. Because we are afraid. Afraid to admit that parents have no clue what they are doing a large portion of the time. Afraid we are the only ones. Afraid to be judged. Afraid that or shortcomings will make us “bad” moms. Screw being afraid. The fact of the matter is that EVERY mom has something they’d rather not share. But by constantly hiding it and trying to appear perfect you lose the chance to see that you’re NOT the only one. Sometimes when you admit your shortcomings, when you wear your cracks with pride, you realize that we are all flawed in some way, but just because you are flawed doesn’t make you “bad”, it make you human. A messy laundry room/too much screen time/occasional junk food/being late to school drop off/bribing your kids/losing your temper isn’t bad parenting, it’s real life. Parenting is never simple and straightforward. Motherhood is messy, unpredictable and chaotic. So why fight it? Just go with the flow. Enjoy the craziness and try not to get smothered by a laundry avalanche.
Let’s facing it, parenting can be e
xhausting, frustrating, soul sucking…challenging. It is so easy to get caught up in the chaos of everyday life that it is hard to stay in the moment and appreciate the amazing “little things”. Part of the reason I love this time of year is that it allows me to hone in on what I am thankful for, what I truly value.
Drive Thru Coffee: It’s the age old love story. Woman has a baby. Woman becomes a mother and gets no sleep. New mom meets coffee and develops an intense infatuation. Moms around the world are not shy about proclaiming their
addiction love for the ever appealing caffeinated bean. Nothing is sweeter than the first moment that glorious brew hits your lips. Except when it doesn’t even require you getting out of the car to get your fix. I cannot count the number of times I have groggily pulled through my local Starbucks drive thru with a whiny kid and screaming toddler in the back of my car. Thank you, brilliant coffee store builders for realizing that mom’s need their beloved coffee even more when it is impossible to get out of the car.
Trashy Reality TV: Exhaustion. Diapers. Laundry. Homework. Cooking for people who throw my food on the floor and refuse to eat. That’s my reality. Cat fights, lavish vacations and expensive champagne. That’s the kind of reality that I will stay up way too late to watch. Nothing eases the pain of an unexpected Crayola mural on freshly painted walls quite like mindless and oh so entertaining trash TV.
Dry Shampoo: Once upon a time I washed and styled my hair every day. When I got a little older and the responsibilities grew it changed to every other day and then every three days. Then I had kids and it became every…I plead the fifth. Just as I was about to surrender to being a greasy- haired, ponytail-dependent mother, I discovered dry shampoo. It’s like a hug it a can, for your hair.
Screen time: Research says that children who spend time in front of a screen….blah, blah, blah. Do those researchers have two screaming children pulling at their leg and destroying the house while they conduct their studies? I think not. I applaud the parents who can get through life without ever handing over their iPhone or getting some breathing room without using Disney Jr. as a babysitter. But for the rest of us mere mortals, sometimes screen time is necessary so we don’t lose it and put OUR head through a screen.
Showing Me Who I Am: I have lived a pretty full life so far. I have had many ups and downs, many highs and lows. I have learned things along the way, but nothing has even come close to teaching me as much as motherhood has. Being a parent is hard. Like, climbing Mount Everest x achieving world peace + mastering Mandarin + not eating carbs for the rest of your life=a fraction of the difficulty of being a mom. But through all the sleepless nights, ridiculous arguments, tantrums(from both me and the kids), and sometimes overwhelming responsibility of figuring out how to raise a human, I have changed and grown and become who I am. I am a mom. A tough, resilient, coffee drinking, dry shampoo using, trash tv watching, screen time providing mom. And there is NOTHING I am more grateful for than that.
LUVs understands all the trials and tribulations that come along with motherhood and they are here to help. Did you know that 2 out of 3 mothers have never taken a day completely for themselves? Or that a whopping 87% of moms agree that the night their child first slept through the night was one of their “best parenting times”. That’s crazy! Parenting is hard, but diapering doesn’t have to be. LUVs diapers are not only affordable, but dependable. Softer and more absorbent than ever, ultra leak protection and a money back guarantee, LUVs easily fall into any parent’s #WhatULUV category. And in an effort to make you even more thankful, LUVs is giving away a money saving print at home coupon.
Join @iconnect and @Luvs for the #WhatULuv twitter party(11/29 9-10pm EST) to tell us what you truly value as a parent.
This post was sponsored by Luvs, but all thoughts, opinions and LUV are my own!
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Scary movies, candy, seasonal pumpkin beer… what’s not to like? Another reason that I love Halloween is looking at all of the crazy costumes. I think Halloween is a great time for parents to play the extremely judgmental and oh-so-entertaining game of “Spot The Ridiculously Inappropriate and Offensive Costume”.
Here’s how it works:
1) Go Trick or Treating with your awesome kids who are dressed in their adorable, fantastic, age appropriate costumes
2) Look around at the other kids and parents and begin reviewing their costumes.
3) Feel guilty about judging for about 30 seconds.
4) Bask in the glory that you’re not the parent who dressed their 2 year old old up as a hooker.
5) Repeat steps 1-4
It’s never to early to teach your little girl what to wear if she wants to get paid for having sex. The movie was call “Pretty Woman” not “Pretty Toddler”.
Well, that’s one way to teach kids not to text and drive.
Not cute no matter what age you are.
The child may be at risk of getting smothered by his giant costume, but hey, at least they put him on his back to sleep.
This is one shitty costume.
For some reason I don’t think the “Beer Pong Table” will be featured in the 4th grade Halloween parade.
Diapers and Fishnets will always have you wind up on the fashion DON’T list.
Reduce, reuse, recycle??
The parents obviously didn’t think this through….how is he going to hold his candy bag?!
Don’t worry, it’s legal in his state.
Is it just me or does this kid look WAY too excited to be dressed up as a suicide bomber?!
Hmmmm, that’s the same face I had when I saw this costume.
I’ve heard of stuffing a bra, but stuffing a onesie?!
I think it’s a little late for that.
BONUS: Worst PARENT Halloween Costume
Which one do YOU think is the worst??