“What can we do now???” , my five year old daughter questioned me eagerly the instant we finished the Frozen puzzle that took 15 minutes longer than it should have due to an argument about whether Elsa’s dress was more Blue/Green or Green/Blue. Then the baby started crying non stop because she is teething and nothing soothes her. Soon after my husband came home and mentioned that the car needed expensive new tires and a new battery. That was when I snapped. It was the comment that broke the mother’s sanity. I just needed to go and be far, far away from my husband and my children. Away from anything and everything family-related. I was like the anti-Dorothy, clicking my sparkly red heels and wishing to be anywhere but home.
Sometimes, not always, I need to be reminded that I have a name that isn’t mommy. I want to take a bath in a bathtub that isn’t home to rubber duckies and naked Barbies. I want to have a song stuck in my head that isn’t from Disney, Nick Jr. or Sprout.
Sometimes, not always, I want complete and total silence. I want to go at least a few hours where I don’t have to wipe a mouth, a nose or a butt. I want to cook a meal and have it eaten without it being picked through and rejected.
Sometimes, not always, I want to get in the car without worrying about car seats, if any one has to pee or if we left “Greenie the Dog” inside. I want to pee without an audience. I want to have to set an alarm if I need to get up early on the weekends.
Sometimes, not always, I want to be responsible for only getting myself ready to leave the house. I want to take out my iPhone without having someone whine about how THEY want to play with. I want to just go to bed without a drawn out two hour bedtime routine.
Sometimes, not always I just want some time ALONE, without feeling any guilt. Because it’s not that I don’t want to be with them, it’s just that I do want to be with me.
Because sometimes kids are annoying and sometimes you are on the brink of completely losing it, so you need to get away by yourself. Take a few hours, recharge. Take a few hours to remember who you are outside of being a mother. There are times in life when you just need to take a step back to see things clearly. Take a few hours away to remind yourself that despite all of the frustration, annoyance, the constant mess and the debilitating exhaustion your children are the best part of your life and no matter what, you love them with everything you have. Always, not sometimes.