By the time I graduated college I thought I was finally free from the end of the school year apathy forever.
Until I had a kid that started to attend school.
I thought it was impossible, but once again, I am faced with those feelings: lack of motivation, disinterest, indifference. I’ve been waking up early, packing lunches and helping with homework all year, and now I’m officially OVER IT. No, I don’t have Senioritis, I have MOMritis.
1) Mornings Are Complete Chaos: At the beginning of the school year your morning routine runs like a well oiled machine. Clothes are laid out the night before, you wake up with plenty of time to get ready at a leisurely pace, you even have time to spend a few minutes to yourself to enjoy a cup of coffee. By the end of the school year, mornings run a little differently. You forget to set the alarm, you can never find your kids other shoe and those elaborate pinterest style braids you used to do for your daughter have been traded in for a swipe of a brush that you had to wrestle out of your dog’s mouth.
2) You Don’t Care What Your Kid Is Wearing to School: I generally like my children to look nice when I send them to school. New shoes, cute outfits and even matching socks are a daily occurrence. Come May, all of that has gone out the window. At this point I don’t have it in me for one more argument involving getting dressed in the morning. You want to wear scuba gear and a polka dot tutu? A Freddy Krueger mask and green tights? Go ahead knock yourself out. Are your teeth are brushed? Private Parts covered? Good to go!
3) You Don’t Care What You’re Wearing to School Drop Off/Pick Up: Refer to above statement about teeth and private parts.
4) Breakfast Is Laughable: There are no more egg, bacon and pancake breakfasts of the Fall and Winter. We were now officially in grab-a-box-of- raisins-and-a-granola-bar-on-
5) Homework? Hahaha: For 10 months I have sat down and helped my kid with homework, but when there are mere days left of the school year, the last thing in the world I want to do is help with reading, writing OR arithmetic. Sorry kid, I’ve paid my dues… I went to school for 20 years, you’re on your own. Trying Googling it.
6) Afterschool Activities…Not Interested: Soccer, ballet, piano lessons all seemed like a really great way to enrich my child’s life at the beginning of the year. At this point if I would rather have them reinstate prohibition than drop a kid at yet another practice. Ok, that’s a lie, prohibition would be unbearable, but you get the point.
7) You Have A Lackluster Approach To EVERYTHING School Related: I’m no Martha Stewart, but even mediocre mothers like myself like to put their best foot forward when it comes to school related events/projects/activities. But as sure as April showers bring May flowers, my effort in everything school-related dwindles. End of the year bake sale goes from “Let’s get some ideas from Pinterest” to “Can I get it at Target on the way to school” approach.
8) You Steer Clear Of Any And All Volunteer Situations: Book Fair, Cross Walk Duty, Field Day…somehow they ALL happen to fall on a day and time that I have a prior commitment. What are the odds??
9) Grades, Ehhh They’re Just a Letter: I want my kids to learn, try their hardest and get good grades, but at this point in the year I honestly just don’t care anymore. At this age, letter grades are so insignificant to me I just think of them as lyrics to the Alphabet Song.
10) You Avoid Teachers: Teachers are great. They are amazing and under appreciated and should be praised every day for educating our children. I truly believe this with all my heart. But now we’re at the home stretch. I’ve cared and been involved and attended parent teacher conferences all year. I just can’t anymore. I’m sorry that I’m dodging your call. I apologize for pretending I don’t see you on the playground. Please just let me enjoy the last few days when someone else is responsible for dealing with my kid all day.
If you or someone you know is suffering from Momitis, just grab a coffee/sip some wine/marathon some Bravo/read a book and try to relax. Just hang on, school is almost over and Summer is almost here. Wait, Summer??? Oh Sh*t.