Awards season is coming to an end with the grand finale tonight: The Oscars. While I will obviously be stuffing my face and sipping a drink while watching the Red Carpet Tonight, I’d like to take some time to focus on some other awards that deserve some attention. Kid Awards. Kids are so fabulously melo-dramatic and ridiculously over the top that there is no need to wait a whole year to celebrate the best of the best, give ’em a week and they will have a plethora of “performances” for you to choose from. So, without further delay, here a my three year old’s awards for the past week….
Best Dramatic Performance in a Public Place: The meltdown my three year old had last week at Target when I made the disastrous mistake of passing by the toy section without letting her get anything.
Best Dramatic Performance In A Private Place: The 45 minutes of screaming/crying/throwing clothes out of the closet when I refused to let my daughter wear a bathing suit…outside…in the middle of the winter.
Best Three Year Old Insult: You are a doody butt that likes to eat worm and pickle sandwiches.
Best Reaction At Meal Time: A 10 minute gagging/water chugging and tongue scraping that occurred after I attempted to feed my daughter sauteed spinach or “poison” as she likes to call it.
Best Performance in a Mortify Mommy Moment: When my daughter screamed “look at that man-lady” to the woman behind us in the store with a crew cut.
Best Musical Performance: The first 399 “Let It Go” performances.
*The karaoke machine “broke” before there was a 400th performance
Best Costume Design: The Princess dress/cowboy boot/fairy wing/glove & mitten combo that I have to convince my daughter on a daily basis is not “school appropriate”.
Best Makeup: When I woke up to the smell of tropical fruit only to open my eyes and find my daughter put on her makeup “just like mommy”with Mr. Sketch scented markers.
What awards would you give YOUR kids? Comment below and let me know!