It has taken me years to get into my work at home groove: learning discipline, time management skills and the self control not to sit on the sofa and catch up on all of my favorite trash tv. Too bad all of my work at home “groove” is shot to shit for the blood-pressure-raising-months known as Summer “Break”. For the next three months my in-home office will be filled with toys, chaos and popsicle sticks. While I would love to spend my days at home with my two year old daughter doing fun art projects and swimming, I am stuck answering phones and writing emails while my daughter stares at me. Normally, I wouldn’t mind a little extra company during my workday, but it has become increasingly apparent that toddlers have no sense of office decorum.
6 Reasons Toddlers Make the WORST Coworkers
- I’m not what you’d call a fashionista, but I can certainly put together an outfit. My coworker has absolutely no concept of proper work attire. Mismatched, unconventional outfits are common: bright yellow shorts and a pink bathing suit, pants that are obviously too small and even tutus. Not to mention that sometimes her clothes are covered in food. You’d think that she was just learning to feed herself. Worst of all, there have even been times that I have seen her run around topless.
- They have no attention span whatsoever. One minute she’ll be talking on her bright red phone, the next minute she is “typing” on her Leapfrog laptop, the next minute she is haphazardly rummaging through bins. Sometimes, she’ll even ask to turn on the tv! It is seriously distracting.
- The office small talk is really limited. I totally get that people have different interests. I’m just saying it would be great if just once we could chat about something other than colors, the noises that different animals make and the numbers 1-10.
- They are extremely immature. Whining, fussing, throwing things and even crying. And I’m not talking about hiding in a bathroom stall after your boss yells at you crying. I mean full blown sobbing sessions in the middle of the room.
- I am exhausted 99.9% of the time, but like most other people, I suck it up and drink copious amounts of caffeine. How does my coworker handle exhaustion? She sleeps! In the Middle.Of.The.Day! She has no qualms about it. Late morning, early afternoon, late afternoon, you name it, it seems that my co worker thinks anytime is fair game for a nap.
- We have no sort of social relationship whatsoever. Many of my friends will meet up with their coworkers for Happy Hour after a long day or a nice dinner to celebrate a difficult project ending. My coworker sticks to a strict schedule of dinner/bath/bedtime. Lame.
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