Once upon a time I dabbled in the whole Monday through Friday, 9-5 thing. Although a “typical” office job has never filled a space on my resume, I have always worked some sort of job that has required me to put on a bra before 11:00am. When my daughter was born I made the decision to become a work at home mom. Over the past couple years I have had my ups and downs with the whole “work at home mom” thing. Some days the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I spin around like pj clad Julie Andrews singing about the joys of working at home. Other days, I am crying into a tub of icecream at 10:00am when I realize that I am like Lindsay Lohan on house arrest and haven’t been more than 5 feet past my front door in 3 days. Wow, I sure have a way of making myself sound stable.
For almost two years now my days are filled with attempting to balance conference calls, tea parties with Elmo, payroll reports and trying not to audibly gag when I am on the phone with a client and I realize that the brown stuff under my nail is in fact poop. Each day is a learning experience and what I have learned more than anything is that the “skills” that I have developed do not make me in any shape to go back into the workforce anytime soon. Here are a few reasons why…
- “Can you believe what Swiper tried to do to Dora and Boots?!?” isn’t the juiciest tidbit to add to office gossip.
- My co-workers would be seriously freaked out when I insisted on cutting their lunch into small pieces “just in case”.
- Co workers just wouldn’t understand why I felt the need to lock myself in the bathroom with my laptop and phone so I could get some work done.
- Drinking iced coffee out of a Nemo sippy cup may be too “unconventional” for the office.
- People in the office might think it’s odd to sniff around and ask “Did you poop?”
- Generally, people tend to shower before work, not when they “get a chance”.
- Humming “The Wheels on the Bus” all day long would definitely be frowned upon by management.
- Going bra-less may be a little too “dressed down” for Casual Friday.
For now, it looks like my yoga pants will still be my outfit of choice for work (and non work days). Sure, working from home is super stressful at times, but in what other workplace can you openly start Happy Hour at 4:00pm without getting fired?
**In other news…something really amazing happened. Somehow my blog is a finalist on Parents Magazine Blog Awards in the “Most Likely To Make You Laugh” category. I’m up against some huge blogs(aka I’m getting my ass kicked), so your support would be SO appreciated. Please take a minute to click on the link and vote for Crazy Mama Drama: