I recently came across an article titled “What Every Toddler Needs To Thrive”. It was a pretty ridiculous somewhat informative article that pretty much outlined things that even clueless teen moms would know: show your kid love, care for their basic needs, read to them, etc. Seriously, if your readers need to be told to hug and kiss their kid, I don’t think a 3 page article is going to remedy their shittymom-itis. Anyway, in addition to picking up eye opening parenting tips like “play with your child whenever you can” and “take him in for regular well checkups”, it got me thinking…what about what moms needs to thrive?
A Good Friend That Does NOT Have A Kid: The other night on the phone I was talking to my best friend of 15 years (who, by the way loves Ella dearly). About halfway through the conversation she said jokingly(mixed with a bit of truth) “Can someone shut that kid up”? I am so immune to Ella’s whining sometimes that I forget that, let’s be totally honest here, listening to non-stop whining is really freaking annoying. It was so refreshing to actually hear someone say it out loud. Friends without kids keep you grounded and help you remember that it doesn’t make you a bad mom to think your kid is annoying sometimes, it just makes you human.
A Good Friend That Does Have A Kid: Every mom needs a friend that will be able to give her advice when you call up and say: “Well her poop is kind of liquidy, well more like a paste consistency and it’s a little yellow, not regular mustard yellow, deli mustard yellow”. A fellow mom friend is the only kind of friend would a) not tell you that you are disgusting and hang up and b) actually visualize what you are talking about and try to give you advice. Thank god for the sisterhood of mommies.
Coffee: A mom needs coffee like a fish needs water. End of story.
Find The Magical Blankie/Pacifier Combo: No matter how much my daughter is freaking out, once we pull out her fave blankie and pacifier, she calms down almost immediately. Maybe for your kid it’s a Cookie Monster Doll or a Toy Story Sippy cup….Whatever it is, just take the time to find out what works and then protect it with your life. Once in a while my husband or I (most likely my husband) will misplace her beloved Purple Pacifier or Blankie and we frantically run around the house like we just received a bomb threat, trying to locate them. Some may say we’re enabling our daughter, I say we’re keeping ourselves from going insane. Seriously, Blankie/Pacifier= Baby Valium. If only it were that easy for adults to chill out.
A Good Night’s Sleep: Hahaha yeah right, in my dreams. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a year and a half and something tells me that I won’t be getting a full 8 hours for another 16.5 years.
You Need To Lose Your Day Planner: I am a list maker, I always have been and always will be. If I’m going to get everything done, I need to plan it out and write it down. I don’t see the point of completing a task if you don’t get the pleasure of crossing it off in your day planner. The day I became a mother was the day that I learned that all of my planning was pointless. My lists no longer held the power of planning out my day. I am at the mercy of a 3 foot tall teething little dictator with a penchant for trouble. Sure, a trip to the grocery story sounds like a great idea on a Tuesday morning. A great idea until your little one decides to have a melt down in the middle of the produce department. That’s when you realize your “plan” of grocery shopping is worthless and it’s way less embarrassing to ditch your cart and leave on your own terms rather than get kicked out because you “little angel” won’t stop pelting the poor kid stocking the fruit section with blueberries. Time for a new plan…
Nick Jr., Disney Jr. or PBS:Ok, I’m totally ready for the backlash that will come my way for this comment. I truly respect and am in awe of all the moms out there who are able to raise their kids without TV. You guys deserve an award. I, on the other hand am a mom who views TV as high up on the survival list as food, water and shelter. So thank you, DJ Lance, Team Umi Zumi, Lenny/Tuck/Ming Ming, I will forever be grateful.
Wine: You knew this one was coming. Yes, watching your child learn and grow are a very rewarding part of motherhood. Do you want to know else is rewarding? A nice glass of Cab after a long day of tantrums, tears and time outs.
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